It turns out that breaking up with your life partner is surprisingly easy:
1) Invite him to breakfast at Katz' Deli, which has the best waffles and latkes in town.
2) Enjoy said breakfast while flirting shamelessly with the server (Doug) who is gorgeous, and young enough to be your son. Not your "boy". Your actual son.
3) Go to the bathroom not to void, but to steel yourself and run your lines.
4) Come back to the table, pay the check, then lean across to your soon-to-be-ex and say: "I love you, I will always love you. I will always be your friend, but I cannot be your partner".
5) Wait an eternity for his response, as the words land and it sinks in.
6) Listen to the response. It is five words: "I want to go home".
7) Your 15-year, solid and loving relationship is now dissolved.
8) Now grieve, date, waste years and repeat as needed.
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